1250 Broadway, 27th Floor New York, NY 10001


A friend insisted that we try the “Antica Pizzeria del Luna Park,” which is located at Brickell City Centre, 701 S Miami Ave, Miami. (This is the same space that was formerly occupied by “La Centrale — Italian Food Hall.”)

According to the company’s website, this “new” eatery gets its inspiration from Italy’s “Campania region,” and claims you’ll be served “house-made Neapolitan pizzas cooked in traditional wood fired ovens found in Naples, Italy.”

It further promises that, “Customers will find an authentic premium pizza thanks to its 75 hour leavening process.”

“Premium pizza?” Regrettably, no. (And what a waste of 75 hours, btw.)

When cheese is overheated, the proteins firm up and lose moisture—the same way meat does. But with a dairy product, you’re often left with a rubbery, clumpy mess. And that’s what we got when we ordered the “Margherita” pie — “Dop San Marzano Tomato Sauce, Mozzarella and Basil” ($16)

Even though it had a nice char, the hardened cheese was an immediate turnoff. And something was terribly wrong with the tomato sauce. Purportedly a “Dop San Manzano,” it had none of the attributes of that sauce. It lacked a richness, and was cloyingly sweet.

Now, according to widely published reports, this particular brand of tomato has been the subject of rampant fraud — with 95 percent of the so-called “San Marzanos” sold in the U.S. being “fake.” So, we wouldn’t be surprised ....

And, lastly, when nibbling on a pizza is unpleasant, and feels like all your dental implants are about to fall out ... that just ain’t a good pie. This crust was excessively tough and chewy.

Because we liked nothing this sad dish had to offer, it rated a felonious “F.”

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Follow Lucas on Instagram: @lucasaferrara