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While we were suffering through brunch at Juniper on the Water (1975 S. Ocean Drive, Hallandale, Florida), a friend wanted to try the “Lobster Eggs Benedict” — which was described as “lobster salad, poached eggs” ($20).

A quick skim of the menu confirmed it was one of the most expensive items offered, so you’d think it’d be “special,” right?

Well ... the only thing “unique” to this dish was its utter atrociousness.

Ordinarily, people tend to love anything “Benedict,” mostly because of the hollandaise sauce — which some claim should be about 1% mustard, 3% lemon juice, 5% egg, and about 90% butter. (Might as well bypass all that “stuff,” and just inject a stick of butter directly into your veins, folks. No point needlessly elevating your cholesterol at this sorry joint.)

Described by some as a “savory custard with a hint of lemon,” this rich, creamy sauce is supposed to enhance the flavor profile of whatever it’s added to. But this version didn’t. It lacked any kick, any nuance .... It just was.

And that was the problem with the entire plate, everything on it lacked pizzaz — visually and substantively. We were not only underwhelmed by the unimaginative presentation, but the cold (and clearly not fresh) lobster, which had been shred into tiny, granular bits, was extremely unpleasant to consume. (It lacked any flavor depth.)

Because this dish did absolutely nothing for us, other than to earn our disdain, and scorn, it garnered yet another “F.”

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