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Who isn’t a sucker for good “cold sesame noodles?”

We’re of the view, that in order to do it right, the dish should be rich-tasting, and have a nice balance of chili oil and sesame paste (with some roasted chopped peanuts and ground peppercorn, thrown in for good measure).

The version offered at Palm Beach’s “Hai House,” (a “modern Chinese-American restaurant” over on Worth Avenue), ended up being an utter disappointment.

Their “Cold Sesame Noodles” — cucumbers, peanuts and sweet peppers ($7) — featured overcooked, mushy pasta (which we disliked, immensely).

We also couldn’t get our arms around the presentation, as the application of the sesame paste to the side of the dish looked as if some animal (with a severe stomach ailment) had had an accident in our plate.

Because we found it watery-tasting, and far from palate-pleasing, this damnable dish scored an “F.”