Each of the parties on Docket No. 1075 in the District Court of Douglas County, Nebraska is a force to be reckoned with.
Weighing in as plaintiff is the "the Maverick of Omaha," "the angriest black man in Nebraska," "the defender of the downtrodden," the rough and tumble Ernie Chambers , the esteemed State Senator from Omaha, Nebraska's 11th Legislative District.
And, as defendant, … God.
Senator Chambers' complaint alleges a litany of wrongs perpetrated by the "Almighty," ranging from the biblical (pestilence, famine and flood) to the medical (birth defects) and is asking a judge to issue an injunction stopping God from continuing with "certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats ... of grave harm to innumerable persons ...."
Although the Senator's legal standing is quite murky, he claims to be prosecuting the case on behalf of his constituents, whom he "has the duty to represent," as well as the "millions upon millions of the earth's inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm," all facing "terrorization" by tornadoes, earthquakes and hurricanes.
In a memo to his colleagues, Senator Chambers described his lawsuit as a "response to the numerous strange lawsuits brought by 'conservatives,' the co-called 'religious right,' and others who utilize the courts to hawk their particular brand of bigotry or zealotry."
Written in all-caps at the bottom of that same page, in letters that give the impression they were cast in stone and carried down from the Mount, you'll find the following: "THIS LAWSUIT CONSTITUTES AN OBJECT LESSON. MAKE THE MOST OF IT."
In a fingerpointing match as old as time, God supposedly answered the complaint pro se, and attributed all responsibility for any wrongdoing to his nemesis, Satan.
We're not quite sure what to make of the Senator's chutzpah.
We don't know whether his hubris is a function of his 37 consecutive years in the senate (a reign which will end in 2008 because of term limits) or if there was something strange in that cornhusker's water, but we're thankful there's someone out there to blaspheme on our behalf because there's this nasty virus making its way around the office, and we are all darn sick of it!
To view the Senator's pleadings in their entirety, please use this link: Complaint against God